Do you often imagine yourself as being your crocodile character going on in your life? Hm. That's tricky. The answer is yes, kind of. In a perfect world I'm him absolutely. When I think of myself in terms of essence, I'm him. In corporeal form, I have to be human. So when I think of myself do I think of Croc? Yeah, probably. It just feels better in almost every way. I'm not super fond of how I look so it's kind of a no brainer, plus it's infinitely more fun. Do you think it is good to do these sort of things? Or that others might do this too, even...non-furries? I think having a sense of creativity, of seeing yourself in a different light that makes you happy, is positive so long as it does not interfere with your ability to function in the physical real world we all are forced to live in. Let's face it, the world is a total mess, how we often feel about ourselves is messy. It's kind of similar logic to people deciding that they aren't comfortable in the gender they were originally assigned - let people be who and want they want to be if it doesn't hurt anyone and helps them in some way. I'm not sure what non-furries would envision themselves as, but we certainly don't own a monopoly on creativity or roleplay or whatever you want to call it. So yes, I think it can be really helpful if it's a tool that helps you connect with yourself or your aspirations or what motivates you to be the best you.

With Ableton, for the most part! It's very powerful software with a steep learning curve, and I probably don't even know how to use more than like 30% of it. But even that much is enough to do a lot. It really helps if you have multitracks (the individual song parts) because you can be more creative. To be fair, the stuff I come up with tends to be more raw and less polished than the people who are really technical and know the tricks of the trade, but I try to make up for it with creativity.

I know you said you nearly had a breakdown, but even so your stability through constant trying circumstances has been admirable. I can only hope I have as much clarity and strength to do as well when it happens for me. I'm sorry for your loss, but I think you made the right choice under the circumstances, as hard as I'm sure it was. I'm sure your father would be proud if he fully realized just what a wise and kind son he'd raised.

A heartwarming, wonderful story. I always love learning more about people and the challenging journeys that they've gone through. Other than our friends, sometimes it is hardships that shape us in the most useful ways. I'm glad your Disney story seems to have a happy ending!

As someone who has been self-deprecating throughout my life, I often would be humorously critical of myself as a way of taking power away from those who seek to be critical just to be injure me emotionally. Now granted, how much that works really depends upon whether the jokes you're making about yourself are ones that you are using for a defensive purpose or ones that you actually kinda believe. There are a lot of ways to deal with people who seek to make you feel better or tear you down. In general I would not advocate for self-deprecation, though I would advocate for an ability to laugh at yourself, just you have to know when to use it and when to give yourself some credit and stand up for yourself. I think the majority of people who say they are furry trash and make jokes about furries being pervs or whatever, are doing it as a form of self-awareness and to show that they acknowledge that what we do is unusual, I don't think most people really feel bad about being furry, I think they say it because they do have a sense of humor and it's kinda like "yeah I don't really care of you want to talk crap cause I already know I'm a little different, and I'm great with that". But it's in how you do it, how often you do it, the words you pick to do it. We don't need to give people ammo in taking potshots at us, but at the same time, if we don't show that we are aware of ourselves and what we like, we're also encouraging people to second guess us - like a spokesperson for a con constantly laughing off the idea that furries ever have sex in costumes. The answer should be "Maybe some of them do. And if they do, so what? They're adults and If they're doing it privately and respecting others, more power to them."

It's all too easy to be cynical with all the negative things going on the world, but it's also just as possible to say "ok, but I'm still going to do what I can to help make the world better, no matter what amount that is, it's worth it". The last year was probably the worst of my life, and I'm sure it was the same for many others, but things are a lot better now than they were a year ago, even though we still have a long ways to go in many things. I feel that as long as we have friends, we can make it through almost anything.